Round Two

Round two was easier, at least physically, than round one.  I knew what to expect, I had my sleep cocktail perfected (thank you ativan) and it wasn't so much of a shock when the nausea hit.  The medicinal haze was shorter this time - only 2 days - yay! but for some reason the nausea has lasted longer (still have a case of the yucks).   But while it was easier physically, it was definitely harder emotionally.  I've tried hard to avoid the "why me" feeling but it crept up on me this round - why do I have to go through this, and worse yet, why does my family have to go through this.  It is an awful feeling to put your friends and loved ones through this with you.  A couple of months ago I met with a cancer survivor, Mary Anne, who made the comment "I thought about not telling my family when I found out, I thought about just going and hiding out for 6 months so they wouldn't have to go through this".  I know exactly what she meant now.  At the time when she said that I was like - oh, wow, I don't have a choice, I need my family to help me through this!  But now I wish I was in hiding so that they didn't have to see this all.  (Family - I apologize that you are reading this - I love you and couldn't do this without you....just wish we didn't have to do it at all)  But aside from that little pity party, all is fine....I am feeling better everyday!

As for the hair......you know that scene in "Coming to America" where the founders of Soul Glow get up from the couch and leave behind wet marks from their hair?  Ok, that is me but instead of wet marks it's big patches of hair.  I was shedding EVERYWHERE I put my little head.....so we decided to commence operation G.I. Jane and buzz it all off yesterday.  Bob and Elizabeth took turns holding Thomas while the other one buzzed my hair.  And yes, it took all three of us (and three opinions) to do a simple task.  Once it was all done it felt relatively anti-climactic....honestly, no trauma at all.  Thomas was fine with it, I was fine with it.....no big deal.  It doesn't look awful, although I did realize I have a very small head.

It's been raining the past few days here (big shock I know) so I haven't been going on my walks.  But Saturday's forecast is 80(!) and sunny so I can't wait to get out and soak up the vitamin D....