*poof*

And like magic, 7 days after the chemo infusion most of the nasty symptoms are gone.  I woke up Friday and *poof* no haze, no fog, no nausea, no headaches, no migraine eyes.  The only ones still hanging around are the fatigue, which unfortunately is catching up with me, chemo brain and the metalic taste in my mouth (yum, tin foil).  I forgot to post an update on the bone pain from the GCSF shot which I get after chemo - it only lasts for 2-3 days and I should expect it 7 days after I get the shot (just had my first twinge of the back pain last night). 

The fatigue is definitely catching up with me, but as long as I am smart about it I can totally handle it.  Friday was not a smart day...I woke up and felt so good I thought "I can take care of Thomas by myself today!" which by 2pm I was totally regretting and starting to wind down like a clock.  By 4pm I was so tired I felt nauseous again and just had to lie down for an hour.  And the rest of the night was kinda shot.  But now I know not to repeat that, so with small intervals of rest or naps, I can actually have a good day!

It was a GORGEOUS weekend in Portland (welcome summer!!!) so we spent lots of time outdoors soaking up the sun.  Which leads me to what was such a huge unknown.....going out without hair - how would I feel?!  My first outing was just out to run an errand (fill up on gas then grocery store).  I tied a silk scarf over my head and headed out.  Surprisingly not traumatic at all.  In fact, I really forget that I don't have hair these days.  I am sure it's jarring to those that are looking at me, but I don't feel any different....so I really forget about it! 

What I learned is that there are one of three responses from strangers:
response #1 (my favorite): overwhelming niceness.  The guy that pumped my gas this week was the same one that pumped my gas last week (when I had hair).  Last week he was polite and efficient but no small talk or anything.  This week he practically leaned in through the window to hug me.

response #2 (most surprising): cannot make eye contact.  My checker at the grocery store (a store known for how nice the people are and everytime I go in they chat you up big time) could NOT look at me.  She was really having a hard time with it.  She was young (I heard someone wish her a happy 26th birthday).  She just couldn't look at me.  And I am not judging at all....who knows, this could be so painful for her on so many levels, maybe she knows someone going through it, maybe someone in her family died from cancer.  No judging.  Oh and the guy bagging my groceries was a #1 response, so he made up for it spades.

response #3: absolutely no different than when I had hair.  This is probably the most refreshing.  And it's the one that makes me forget that I am any "different".  I went into a natural pharmacy to get some homeopathic remedies for nausea.  I had to ask a store associate because I couldn't find them.  She asked what I was using them for (since there were different doses you could buy) and I said "nausea".  She said "can you be more specific - what is it for?"  And I kinda wanted to say "seriously?" but instead said "chemo" and she said "oh, ok, you should take this dose...etc etc" Then when she was ringing me up she asked "so have you started yet on chemo?" again wanted to say "seriously? do you see the scarf and the sans hair?" but instead said "yes, on my second round now" and she wished me luck.  Very nice.

One of these days I will go out without the scarf, probably when my head gets a little more uniform with the hair loss (it's kinda like patches the dog right now).  At home I just go bald, but I haven't mustered up the courage for an outing bald yet.  I tried my wig on the other day.....weird, just weird.  It was weird to look in the mirror and see the "old me" with hair (my wig is pretty much an exact replica of my old hair cut and almost identical in color).  It feels very dress up and pretend.  Not sure when I will wear the wig...maybe for a date night :)