A new woman!

The past few days I have felt *gasp* good!  It all started Tuesday...I woke up and the haze was almost totally lifted.  LIFE! I was still tired during the day and took multiple naps, but at least I could think straight again.  Wednesday unfortunately was a slide back because I didn't get my sleep cocktail just right and ended up not falling back asleep past 2am.   Zombie day.  But still no haze.  Thursday was Thomas's birthday (yay!) and so I made sure to get my sleep cocktail right and knocked myself OUT on wednesday night.  I woke up feeling pretty good.  I had an appointment with Ella (the acupuncturist) at 11am and she was pleased I was feeling good.  I told her that I was still having issues with my eyes (migraine like symptoms - can't focus on the TV or computer at all, makes me nauseous; and can get about 15 minutes into reading a book or magazine before the same results happen).  She said unfortunately this was fairly common but she would work on it as well as keeping me from being nauseous.  I laid on my stomach, she put the pins in......and I could have almost fell asleep.  I think I laid there for almost 45 minutes.  It was great.  She came back in, took the pins out and we set up more appointments for upcoming weeks. 

**Funny side story about Ella......so while we are making the appointments she is looking at her calendar and hemming and hawing over the week of June 26th.  She says, "I think we may have to talk a little closer to the week to book something...I participate in Sundance and that is when I have it penciled in".  So I'm thinking, wow Sundance Film Festival, I did NOT see this coming.  She goes on to say "You know, you can't plan Sundance...it just happens when it happens" total confusion on my face, doesn't the film festival happen the same time every year?  "You know, the Native American Sundance"  ah yes, of course....I should have known**

After I left acupuncture I was feeling pretty damn good.....like back to normal good.  No more naps (still times where I need to rest from being tired), lots of long walks, and eating like normal.  I have completely drunk the kool aid on acupuncture...it is AMAZING.  Even my eyes feel better.  I can get through an entire magazine and look at the computer for a few minutes before they start to freak out.

Thomas's birthday was lots of fun, just a few of us gathered to eat carrot cupcakes and pizza (his all time favorite food).  I am so glad I felt good for his birthday....I was dreading that his first birthday I would be a trainwreck and not able to partcipate at all.  And, you only get one First birthday.....

On Friday I woke up and still felt good (!) so my mom and I drove to the beach for some fresh air.  We stayed the night (just Thomas, Gigi and I) soaked up the Oregon coast sun (and wind) and drank up the damp air.  Long walks in and around town, snuggles on the beach with Thomas and good sleep in a dark room with the sound of the ocean in the distance.  Unfortunately the bone pain from the GCSF shot has started (dull throbing ache in my lower back), but nothing that advil doesn't make me almost forget.  I am trying not to take too much stuff (even advil) if I can avoid it.  I am sure I could be a drug dumpster right now and my doctor wouldn't care, but my liver and kidneys have enough to filter out with chemo and sleeping pills (multiple) every night.  Plus it's a good excuse to turn the heated seats in the car on. 

I feel revived and happy again.  I was so scared after last weekend....I felt so awful (imagine migraine, flu, hangover and horrid jet lag combined into one nasty cocktail) and was so scared that the feeling would only get worse OR would just continue like that for 4 months.  2 of my oncologists had told me that I would get a slight "dip" the day after chemo, but for the first 3 or 4 days after chemo I shouldn't feel too bad since I would be pumped with so many anti nausea drugs and steriods to counteract the chemo and the real pain comes 7 days after chemo.  So when 24+ hours after chemo I felt like I could die, I just thought ohmygodohmygod this is a slight dip?  I don't think I can handle it if it gets worse.  But it is looking like those 2 days 24 hrs after chemo is when I am going to feel my worse, and it's all uphill after that.  Phew.....this I think I can handle.