Dr. Kurup! While both doctors were amazing, and I would have been in excellent hands with either, I went with Dr. Kurup because not only did I have a better connection with her (she had the unfair advantage of being a woman as well), but she was just as concerned with how I felt right now as she was with making sure we got rid of the cancer. While both doctors had very different styles, they really had the same format and hit on the same topics....with the BIG exception that Dr. Chui did not examine me during our visit, and that is one of the first things that Dr. Kurup did. This was big for me. To me it represented that she was looking at my current state and taking that into account. I also brought up with both doctors that I was still uncomfortable from my surgery (slight pain in the incision area). Dr. Chui did not completely brush that aside, but did not seem as concerned about it and basically said - it might just be like that for a while. Dr. Kurup gave suggestions on how I could be more comfortable.
Not only am I going with Dr. Kurup, but I am also going with her recommendation of dose dense chemo. This is the SHORTER regimen - this only takes 4 months. I will get chemo every 2 weeks. The reason this is shorter and you can get it every 2 weeks is that your body can recover faster when they seperate out the components of the chemo to AC first, then T later. With the other regimen, I would be getting all 3 components at once - TAC - and this takes a full 3 weeks for you to recover until your next does.
For dose dense chemo the first four "cycles" consist of just A and C (out of the regimen of AC and T), and the next 4 cycles consist of just the T. From what I understand, the AC is the harder one to take (it causes the most nausea) so you are getting the hard stuff out of the way first. Of course the T is no picnic, and you are dealing with a build up of fatigue that continually gets worse through the regimen.
I am also not going to get estrogen deprivation therapy. While I am not sure if we will have more children, I certainly don't want to make that decision right now. I also do not want to put everyone (including me) through the hell of being dumped into menopause overnight.
My first day of chemo will be next Thursday, May 12th. I am hoping that this schedule gives me a good weekend! Of course everyone reacts to chemo differently, but most people have a big drop the first day of chemo (feeling crummy) then it gets a little better....then about 3-4 days later is when the bad stuff happens (you feel the worst) for a few days, then you start to feel better again gradually until you go in for your next does. I am hoping this gives me weekends that are decent so that I can visit with friends and family (and take out of town visitors!), and deal with the crummy days during the week.
When I say I had a better connection with Dr. Kurup it was because I felt like she was talking to me as a patient...and as a mom, and a sister and a daughter....as a friend. She was concerned with giving me chemo that was more brutal not because I couldn't handle it (she kept saying if she would give it to anyone, it would be me since I was strong, young and healthy) but because why would she put me through that pain if she wasn't 100% sure that I needed something that strong and that the outcomes statistically were the same.
I am not meaning to bash Dr. Chui at all when I say that I thought Dr. Kurup seemed more concerned about my current state (emotional, physical) as well as my future state. I thought Dr. Chui was a brilliant brilliant man with a very noble goal - he wanted to make sure I never had to deal with this again. And by making sure I never dealt with this again, he would throw everything I could take at me. And he thought I could take it all. Maybe if I was more advanced in my state (if it had spread to the lymph nodes) or if I was more concerned that it had gotten out, maybe then I would be jumping in the deep end first with Dr. Chui. And of course, if we ever get to that state in the future, I can still jump in the deep end. But for right now, I am not convinced I need to throw everything at me all at once. Maybe that is too Pollyanna of me to not be as concerned as I should be. Both Dr's made it VERY clear that cancer could have gotten out and could be anywhere in my body right now and we just really don't know and we should not assume ANYTHING based on the fact that it was not in my lymph nodes. The both commented that the size of my tumor was concerning to them and should not be taken lightly (not that anyone takes cancer lightly!). So for now, I go with my gut and with the knowledge that it is not only chemo that cures me...it is my loving family and friends, my support network, cuddles with Thomas and taking care of my body as a whole with good food and the avoidance of complicated chemicals.
So keep up your positive thoughts and prayers...I still need them :)
xoxo
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